Think of the weirdest case you ever handled at a court-martial. Okay, got it? Now compare it to United States v. Wilson, No. ACM S31348 (A.F. Ct. Crim. App. Aug. 11, 2008) (per curiam). SSgt Wilson was convicted of willful dereliction of duty for intentionally violating his duty not to — and I swear I’m not making this up — throw a small frog in front of an F-16 jet engine, allowing it to be sucked into the intake. That’s got my weirdest case beat hands down (or flippers down, as the case may be). Rather than charging SSgt Wilson with willful dereliction, I wonder if there was any thought to charging him under the ADA — the Amphibian Disintegration Act.
SSgt Wilson was unhoppy with his sentence, which included a big chicken dinner. AFCCA nevertheless found the sentence appropriate, reasoning: “The appellant correctly points out that the frog ingested into the engine was small, soft, and ultimately caused no damage. Nonetheless, the offenses of which he stands convicted are serious.” The court noted that after the incident came to light because one of the frog fryers put video of the cookout on the Internet, 41 planes of “the famed Wolf Pack,” as AFCCA colorfully calls the 8th Fighter Wing, were grounded for two days for inspections, forcing “hundreds of personnel to work extra hours to ensure the aircraft were safe.”
How do you suppose the French Air Force cooks its frog legs?